Sometimes you have to jump head first into things to really let yourself go. Other times, you miss the "no diving" signs and you end up cracking your head open on the solid, shallow bottom of life.
Lately, I've been wondering which I've done. I went from living with my parents, not paying any bills, and not even having a job for a few months to moving to a completely different state, renting an apartment by myself, paying power, internet, and student loan bills, taking on a job that stresses me out and regularly makes me question my chosen career path, and having no time or money left over for anything else.
I think I cracked my head open.
My job keeps me from being involved in the community and my church, it keeps me from seeing Walker, and the lack of communication I've been feeling because of it has really made me long for something different.
I want to teach. I don't know what I want to teach and I'm not sure in what capacity; however, teaching brings me a kind of joy that nothing else does. I know this because in the two weeks I got to help girls with their science fair projects, I was loving my job. I love helping kids understand things.
I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea where I'm going. I trust God to show me His will. I pray that he restores my soul and guides me to where I need to be. Until then, I'm holding on...no, I take that back...until then, I'm letting go.
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