I try to be an optimistic person, but there's a point, I think, where you have to open your eyes a little wider to really see what God's doing when times get hard. I'm peeling my eye lids back....
Every single day, yes even on Christmas and new year's day, I receive multiple calls from my student loan lenders. Everyday I tell them the same thing. "Yes, I know my call will be recorded." "Yes, all of my contact information on file is correct....How do I know? I was asked to check it yesterday...and the day before that." "Yes, I've already tried and been rejected for forbearance on my loan...no, I don't want you to try again today." "Why can't I pay up now? Well, yes, I have a job, but I don't make enough to pay rent and utilities each month let alone food and gas..." But now, my story has changed....Why can't I pay? Because I just sold my car for what its worth in metal and now I don't have anything to get me to work but my own two feet or the sweetest friends God could give me.
There's this circle in society...you need a car to get to work...you need a job to pay for a car...you need a car to get a job...you need a job to get a car...Montgomery isn't exactly bicycle friendly, especially not on my side of town. The ten minute drive to work is straight down one road I would never attempt to walk down, especially since there isn't a sidewalk.
So, this is where I find myself. I have no car. I have a dead end, minimum wage job. I owe tens of thousands of dollars in student loans. I want to go to grad school. I want to do something productive with my life.
On the more positive side of things, I got to spend more time than I expected with William (my boyfriend) in Macon, GA this past weekend. We had an amazing time watching movies, bowling, and spending a little time with his family. We cooked breakfast together on Saturday; it reminded me of our time at the Market at the Waters. We were always such a good team working together. I think that's one reason we work so well...we know what we need to do and we know each other's strengths, which basically means that he always cooks the meat and I handle the little things or making it pretty. Its fun to be by his side in the kitchen...I'm glad he's a good cook!
On one of our adventures in town, we wanted coffee from a local shop called Joshua Cup (you should totally go if you're ever in Macon) but it was closed, so we used Siri to find Jittery Joe's. The walk from one coffee shop to the other was only about a mile, but we took our time, looking at all the amazing and beautiful old homes in downtown Macon. There's something about them that makes me want to live there. The city isn't flat like Montgomery, it has beautiful hills that have amazing views.....When we got to Jittery Joe's we realized it was across the street from Mercer University so we gave ourselves a tour of the campus, which has great architectural qualities...I love it. I loved it so much I found the Mercer web page and started an application for grad school...(William is the only person I've told about that...except for you, now) I decided that going to Mercer meant I could be closer to William, get my masters in counseling, ride my bike everywhere (since I'm recently without a car) and maybe even get a job with the Wesley House there. It all sounds good on paper...but there are always details that get overlooked...
I find myself stressfully content...which doesn't make any sense at all. There are so many things I could do and places I could go, but for now I'm just waiting. I except that I'm penny-less and my credit will be horrible, but I'm capable of moving on, and I've been blessed with wonderful friends and family who have been so good to me. What more could I need?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Begining of Something Beautiful...
2011 was a pretty good year for me...its time for a little reflection, introspection, and projection.
I started last year at Passion Conference in Atlanta, GA. It was an amazing conference, as it always is, but I really felt that God was teaching me to be patient and wait on Him. And so, I did. Spring was a crazy semester for me, being that it was my last semester of my undergraduate career. I quit my job for a little while because my Hebrew class was getting really difficult for me. I really enjoyed the class, and I'm still trying to keep my head processing everything I learned. It was a great experience for me, even though I might not have admitted it back then.
My best friend was engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor, which is certainly an honor. She's getting married this coming weekend and I am so excited to be able to be a part of such an important and beautiful day for both Jackie and John.
In May, I graduated from Huntingdon College with a BA in psychology and religion. It was pretty surreal. The next week, a group from Huntingdon went to Greece and Turkey. It was an amazing trip and it was the prefect ending to the past four years. From Ephesus to Santorini, it was literally one of the best trips of my life. I will never forget it.
Over the summer, my internship with House to House and Common Ground was something I certainly wont forget. I learned a lot about myself and what it's like to live with 19 strangers who all have a common goal for the summer that wasn't my own. It was hard and frustrating at times, but I made a couple good friends through it and God definitely taught me a lot.
At the end of the summer, my search for a real job started and lead nowhere. I was offered a position at Hutningdon with the Chaplain, and simply because it is something I have a passion for, I took it...as a volunteer. I still have my job at Nancy's, barely making enough to pay rent and utilities, but I'm having fun being able to stay at Huntingdon.
At the conclusion of the year, I'm totally broke, my student loan lender calls me every day asking for money I cant give them, and I don't exactly have my dream job...but things are really starting to look up. I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy and I'm looking forward to seeing how God's plan for us will unfold.
I don't want to make a new year's resolution, for fear that I wouldn't completely forget about it or just fail all together; so, instead, I am making a goal for myself in various aspects of my life. By making these public, I'm opening myself to your accountability and encouragement throughout the rest of the year.
Spiritually: I will have a quiet time daily and I will be intentional about reading scripture and sharing my faith with others.
Mentally: I will do my best to stay positive and see God's blessings and His glory everyday.
Academically: I would like to do something to further my education...I want to take classes to be a certified Nouthetic Counselor...or just get my butt to seminary
Job: I want to find a better paying job that will allow me to make the necessary payments on my student loans
I hope you all have a very blessed new year and many more to come.
I started last year at Passion Conference in Atlanta, GA. It was an amazing conference, as it always is, but I really felt that God was teaching me to be patient and wait on Him. And so, I did. Spring was a crazy semester for me, being that it was my last semester of my undergraduate career. I quit my job for a little while because my Hebrew class was getting really difficult for me. I really enjoyed the class, and I'm still trying to keep my head processing everything I learned. It was a great experience for me, even though I might not have admitted it back then.
My best friend was engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor, which is certainly an honor. She's getting married this coming weekend and I am so excited to be able to be a part of such an important and beautiful day for both Jackie and John.
In May, I graduated from Huntingdon College with a BA in psychology and religion. It was pretty surreal. The next week, a group from Huntingdon went to Greece and Turkey. It was an amazing trip and it was the prefect ending to the past four years. From Ephesus to Santorini, it was literally one of the best trips of my life. I will never forget it.
Over the summer, my internship with House to House and Common Ground was something I certainly wont forget. I learned a lot about myself and what it's like to live with 19 strangers who all have a common goal for the summer that wasn't my own. It was hard and frustrating at times, but I made a couple good friends through it and God definitely taught me a lot.
At the end of the summer, my search for a real job started and lead nowhere. I was offered a position at Hutningdon with the Chaplain, and simply because it is something I have a passion for, I took it...as a volunteer. I still have my job at Nancy's, barely making enough to pay rent and utilities, but I'm having fun being able to stay at Huntingdon.
At the conclusion of the year, I'm totally broke, my student loan lender calls me every day asking for money I cant give them, and I don't exactly have my dream job...but things are really starting to look up. I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy and I'm looking forward to seeing how God's plan for us will unfold.
I don't want to make a new year's resolution, for fear that I wouldn't completely forget about it or just fail all together; so, instead, I am making a goal for myself in various aspects of my life. By making these public, I'm opening myself to your accountability and encouragement throughout the rest of the year.
Spiritually: I will have a quiet time daily and I will be intentional about reading scripture and sharing my faith with others.
Mentally: I will do my best to stay positive and see God's blessings and His glory everyday.
Academically: I would like to do something to further my education...I want to take classes to be a certified Nouthetic Counselor...or just get my butt to seminary
Job: I want to find a better paying job that will allow me to make the necessary payments on my student loans
I hope you all have a very blessed new year and many more to come.
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