I Pray....

"Oh, that You would bless me indeed,
and enlarge my territory,
that Your hand would be with me,
and that You would keep me from evil."
-Jabez

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was simple and sweet. there wasn't much exciting about her, except the fact that she was seriously a "Jack of all trades and master of none." She was an artist, a musician, a writer, a carpenter...she loved surprising people with her strength and her determination, but she longed to feel like there was one thing she had truly mastered more than anything else.
One day, the girl heard a story about a man named Jabez. Most people don't know who he was, and even if they read his story they might not even notice it. He was a man who brought pain upon his mother, but he still lived a life that brought glory to God. Once Jabez prayed a simple prayer, a prayer that thousands of years later would be prayed by a simple young girl.

"Bless me, Father.
Give me more that,
I might give it all back to You.
Guide me and protect me."

Even one simple man, whose story doesn't even get it's own chapter...one man can change a person's heart and mind. It can change a person's desire. It changed a girl's ideas and shaped her vision of the Lord's will for her life. It's not about doing one something well. It's about doing everything we do, for Him. It's about giving our blessings back and using them to glorify the Holy One.

It's not about me.
It's all about You.
It's not for me.
It's all for You.

"There's nothing we want more!"

We sang this song at Emerge this week and I really love it now. It is from Song of Solomon. The words are all amazing, but I think the bridge has the greatest words. "I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room. I want to look right at You. I want to sing right to You." I think this is awesome because I often find myself talking, praying, even worshiping like its to some distant God, but Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are so incredibly personal I can't imagine what our faith would be like without them. "There is nothing we want more" than Christ in our lives and to worship Him.

"Come be the fire inside of me!"

Love Song

“Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.”

-Song of Songs 8:6-7

Jaws

I had a dream the other night that I thought was worthy of documentation...

So I was in my house (which wasn't my real house, but a house without furniture) and I was in the living room when I noticed a shark swimming around (it was under water, but I wasn't...cause I can't breathe under water [duh]). So, there was a shark, but I wasn't afraid...so when it swam past me, I took a bite out of it. It kept swimming, so I kept biting it. Eventually, I guess I made it mad...so I ran into the bathroom where I found a door that wasn't on it's hinges. I put the door in the door frame (because of course it fit perfectly in my dream)...then I closed the bathroom door behind it for extra strength. Then I jumped out the bathroom window and ran away....the end.

Italian ice....

Some people have jobs that occasionally ask them to work a double shift or stay late...I'm sure it happens all the time. Today I worked from 9am until 8pm. I was scheduled to work 9-12:30 and 6:30-11:30...but there is a crazy afternoon rust that I was asked to stay for, so I did.

Standing on my feet all day kinda hurts, but I am really loving my job. I get to meet the "regulars" who come in everyday and I see a lot of people I know. It's not exactly what I wish I was doing right now and I barely make minimum wage, but I'm content. I'm not sure that I could ask for much more than that right now.

Shaken

Today I faced a few things that were difficult for me to swallow. First, I was not selected for an internship in a church where I worked for the past year. I worked with the youth group and really grew to love the kids. I am really disappointed that I wont be working with them again this year, but I still want to be a part of their lives because I know the youth in this church need stable leaders who will stick around for them.

One of my responsibilities on campus at school puts me in charge on small groups, prayer and other things involving student "growth." I have been planing prayer groups and small groups for most of the summer and I have been really excited about them...however, tonight at our weekly worship event, a girl announced that there are two prayer groups that will be meeting weekly before worship. I think this is a great idea and I love that people are interested and willing to be involved, but I feel like my leadership just got taken over, like I wasn't doing a good enough job.

Other things, in addition to my lack of sleep, have had me really discouraged today. I feel like I already know the answer to my struggles though. I'm a part of things that are new to me this year and I am really excited about how God is going to use me for His will through my time and talents.

My prayer is that I just remember to stop and breathe and listen for the still small voice of God everyday. My life is in His hands and I give it all to Him. My emotions and my thoughts might feel like they've experienced an earthquake, but I am certain that my God will never be shaken.

the beginning of the end....and the start of something new

It's the beginning of my senior year of college and I'm feeling a bit cliche; like I'm standing at a crossroads and I'm not sure which way I'm supposed to go. I've got seven hours left of classes after this semester and one gigantic senior capstone project for my psychology major. I feel like maybe I'm not making any decisions yet because the one thing that I'm supposed to do hasn't come up yet.
Going into college, I was told, "oh, you can do anything with a psychology degree." Maybe it's just that times have changed over the past four years, but I don't really know what I can do now...but I do know what I want.

I want to help change the world. I want to live faith, not just have it. I want to share love with people all over the world. I want to speak truth and live as my savior did. The "jobs" I take don't really matter as long as I can do something I love with people I love.

I want to build wells in Africa. I want to stop human trafficking. I want to worship God with Chinese students. I want to love on orphans in Russia. I want to travel the world loving people.

I don't know if a degree will get me there, but I know that God will. I don't think that he has put these things on my heart for no reason...