One thought at a time....Pt. 1: Packing Boxes with nowhere to go

I am in the process of moving out of the house I've been living in since August. Without a car things started to get complicated. It's weird how having a place to call your own makes to feel secure. I am staying with my parents right now, but I feel homeless. I know I don't belong here. My former roommate already has a new roommate moving in with her this week. Everything is moving so quickly.

My brother wants me to move up there and live with him. I love this idea and I know I would be happy in Rock Hill. I love all of his friends too. My boyfriend wants me to move to Georgia. Its a great little city and I love the old homes and the possibility of going to Mercer and getting a Masters in something. My dad knows that I finished the financial classes for House to House and I could qualify for a house within the ministry, which would be close, and affordable.

I want to make everyone happy, and I honestly want to move to all of those places. I have absolutely no idea what I should do.

 I'm open to suggestions...

Bad Timing...

I've started writing a post at least 6 times now and I've yet to publish it because nothing seems right.

No caption under a picture can truly capture everything that is going on inside my head. It's frustrating and emotional that words don't seem to fit right now. There's so much going on that I can barely even stand it, yet when I take a step back from myself, I feel like nothing is happening at all.

I'll write that post, eventually.
Not yet, though.

Duct Tape, Rain, Travels, and Rants

 Today, after church, it was really nice outside, so my parents started a fire in the little pit they have and we sat outside for a while. They read the newspaper while I made duct tape wallets. I made 10 in about an hour, the last two are a little different though; they were billfolds. My dad got the first one I made, since his old one was falling apart, and he suggested that I make a business out of it and teach kids in the neighborhood how to make them. I think that would be a lot of fun. Wallet making might get old though.

 My new project, as the assistant to the chaplain at Huntingdon is to oversee EMERGE, the Thursday night worship service we have in the old Cloverdale school building. This past Thursday night went really well, I think. I took this picture as the band was practicing. Last year, I was a part of the band, and things have certainly changed a lot since then. To take the focus off the band a little and to make it feel less like a performance, the band is on the floor, not the stage, with everyone else, and the speakers are a whole lot closer to the group. It's the subtle changes that make big impacts though, like intentionally not lighting the band and positioning a light on the cross next to them. I think the Spirit has big things in store for this semester and I cant wait to see them happen.

 This picture is a two-in-one...First, its a picture of me and my brother at a roof top restaurant in Beijing, China. There are a whole lot of memories that go along with these pictures; I am so blessed to have been a part of those amazing trips. Secondly, its a picture of the desktop of my new MAC!!! Its new to me, but it was my dad's computer before he spilled coffee on it, they just had it fixed so that I could have it!! It's so nice to have a computer again, and its amazing that it's a mac. I'm really grateful to my parents for fixing it for me.

 I love this picture. Friday night, it was really rainy, but I weathered the storm to spend time with Matthew and Kaitlyn. We had dinner at Sonic in the rain and then went to see the new movie, The Woman in Black. It was a really good movie and it was really nice just to hang out with friends. I feel like I havent gotten to do that a lot lately. This picture is of the lights reflecting on the road with the rain on the windshield.

 Last weekend, I went to the Carolinas to spend time with my brother and attend a Forum on Beauty with the Friday Arts Project. It was a great weekend, filled with amazing art and brilliant artists. It really was an eye opening weekend for me, not just with art and beauty, but within myself...

 My brother drives my old Chevy Custom Deluxe truck. Its a great truck that has done its share of moving friends and homes, transporting old metal for scrapping, and hosted an occasional star gazing night...I love this old truck and the things I've learned from it. The memories of listening to Death Cab really loud because you had to turn the volume up loud enough to hear over the engine and the wind. The conversations on long and short rides about life and where we might be headed. The views from the window of places we've been...and amazing storm systems, like this one.

 This was our destination in the truck that day. Cameron was selling scrap metals. Since the weekend was about beauty, I wanted to capture this moment. When we think about beauty, we often think about some clean, media-driven idea of neatness...not the way in which things work together, or how mounds of old things have the potential to become new creations. We are so closed off to real beauty and the wonder of the creation that our Creator has made for us because we fail to open our eyes to see that things aren't always what they seem.

 This is a building at Mercer University, one of the schools I am currently applying to for grad school. Its a beautiful school in Macon, GA, and I love the neighborhood its in. I can see myself there, but I can also see myself in Rock Hill, going to school in Charlotte. I feel like I have so many options, I dont know what to do with them. God's will is not clear to me...so I'm just waiting for a door to open.

 Until then, I am baking cupcakes at Nancy's, volunteering my time at Huntingdon, and maybe even working for my dad at House to House again.

 This was two weeks ago, as I said goodbye to my car...and now I'm staying with my parents, borrowing their cars when I can, and realizing how spoiled I am. Our society is so screwed up. We think everything is a right, and we have no idea the kind of privileges we have because of it.