My Face, no longer in the Book

I recently deactivated my facebook account and have gotten several different responses. My friend Alyce simply said, "good for you." Another friend, Matt, was seriously concerned that we might never speak again (we work together 2 or 3 days a week). My brother, on the other hand, had a positive response, but wondered why.

Here's why: Facebook is an excuse. Its an excuse to be antisocial because your "friends" are all at your fingertips. Why see them in person when you can chat/creep them all at the same time?! It is an excuse to not be verbal. I was beginning to use facebook as a meeting place for groups I am in charge of or messages I need to let people know. Why wasn't I just talking to people face to face? It is also an excuse not to be forward with other people. It is possible to have an entire relationship with someone over the internet now. You can ask them out by changing you status and asking them to change theirs. You can chat with them, leave messages on their profile wall, and even draw interactive pictures for them. You can even tell your life story through pictures, notes, and quiz results. Even before you have a relationship with someone, you have put vague little hints on your status just asking for someone to comment on them. Or you could just "like" everything the other person ever types.

I'm tired of it.

Facebook is also a distraction. Lately, facebook has been distracting me from papers, work, grad school applications, God and frankly life.

I am hoping that this "drastic" change will cause people to have more conversations with me in person. I enjoy  human relationships with friends...electronic ones just don't cut it.

I don't know how long this will last, who will be upset, or who will even notice, but I feel a bit freed for the moment. So, good bye facebook. Hello, world!

There's a sign on the interstate between my apartment and where I work; one of those temporary flashing signs on the side of the road. The message it flashes reads, "PUT ON THE BRAKES" in the first frame and "TOWARD ZERO DEATHS" in the second. That's all it says.
I'm not sure who decides what goes up on these things, or even how they decide where they will go...but I think whoever they are needs to think about the message they are promoting. "put on the breaks" generally means "stop," (right?) and "toward zero deaths" generally means "in the direction in which no more people die...or more people are alive." Therefore, the message on the interstate is "stop letting people live" or maybe "make more people die" I'm not sure what they were going for, but I think they've failed at promoting safe driving.

Testimony

I wrote this years ago, but I just found it. It needs some editing and its old, so I think some things have changed a lot, but it's still my life.

On a mission trip in the Appalachian Mountains, I taught a Bible School class to middle and high school girls. To present my testimony I related it to a hiking trip I once took with my family. This is my story.

My Testimony: A Hike of Faith

It all started with my family going together on a short hike in the mountains of Alabama. After eating lunch at an amazing waterfall, we decided to head back to our camp. To keep the trip short and easy, my mom and I only had to follow the path two miles to a parking lot where my dad and brother would pick us up. It worked out that they would walk 5 miles and we would only have to walk 2. With less distance to travel, my mom and I gave the guys our water and we set off in different directions. Half a mile later, my mom and I found a parking lot but it wasn’t far enough, according to the map so we kept going. Another half a mile and another parking lot, so we kept going. But a mile later, there was not a parking lot, in fact, the trail got steeper. We kept walking in hopes of finding the parking lot. Later, the trail turned into a footpath that looked a lot like a deer path. Since my mom and I had given the guys our water, we were nearly dehydrated in the summer heat. I will never forget the thoughts that ran through my head at that point. I just knew that my mom and I were going to die on the top of this mountain. It took falling on my face, after tripping over a fallen tree, to make me realize what I should have been doing. I closed my eyes and screamed, asking God to help us. We were lost in the middle of the forest with no water and I had no idea how God could help us, but I believed He would. The sky grew darker and we could tell a thunder storm was on the way, but we kept hiking. The thunder was frightening, but the rain was an answer to my prayers, it brought relief from the awful heat. With little phone service, all we could tell rangers was that we knew where we were going. We heard the sounds of helicopters, but there was no way of flagging them down and we knew they couldn’t continue their search through the storm. The path eventually led to waterfalls, but it took so much strength to get there with help from two volunteer search and rescue team members who hiked the trail from the other end in order to find us. In what seemed to be a really miraculous way, the exhausting and frightening hike with my mom turned out to be an amazing blessing. Twelve miles of rocky mountain climbing, no water, and a storm was actually great fellowship with my mom, a lesson in resourcefulness, and a walk straight up the side of God’s beautiful creation with the gift of rain to cool us off from the summer heat. I began to see this trip as a symbol for the way my life had been. I began my journey on the right path, but my own stubbornness and self pride kept me from making the right decisions. I kept going, even though I knew I had gone too far. The rocks, dehydration, and abrasions along the way were like the struggles in my life. From parents splitting up in elementary school, to depression and self mutilation in middle school, to a series of bad relationships with non-Christian boys, the hardships I endured throughout my life just made coming back to God that much more amazing and eye opening. I realized that I had fallen on my face before Christ and He was the only one who could save me. My life was that uphill battle, but when the helicopter flew over head, I knew someone still cared and he was still looking for me. My father never lost faith in finding us. Now I know that when I begin to feel as if I have lost my way, I can always find comfort in the knowledge that God knows where I am and how to bring me home to Him. “Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” (Psalm 94:17-19 NIV) I feel it is my duty and my privilege as a child of God to share this joy with as many other people as I possibly can.

I don't want to waste my life

Senior Capstone

For my psychology major I am currently working on the big shabang...the gigantic project that incorporates everything that I have learned in the past four years: the senior capstone.

I'm conducting a survey to see the correlation between religiosity and sexual activity among students in my own tiny little liberal arts school affiliated with the United Methodist Church. I'm hypothesizing that there won't be much of a difference between sexual activity among religion majors and non-religion majors based on research from past studies and experiments; however, I am hoping that I will be pleasantly surprised by my peers at their lack of sexual activity...but I will leave my bias aside for the study.

It's a work in progress...it just makes me feel better when I can put into words what I am doing...

Nightmares....

I don't usually remember my dreams, but lately, I have been having really bad dreams that I can't forget. Last night, I dreamed of the end of the world...or the end of human existence. I don't remember exactly what was happening, but it was dark and I was scared. We were being killed in huge groups and there was no way to stop it. We were all helpless and scared. The one thing I was thinking was that I wasn't sure if I was going to Heaven.

The assurance of salvation is something that I think really scares me because everyone doesn't agree. Can you loose your salvation? If you don't repent for the latest things you've done before you die, will you go to Hell? I think some people don't believe in Hell because God is so loving and compassionate...is there some alternative to Hell? I believe in Hell and Heaven and I hope that in the end of my life I will meet the saints in heaven and kiss the feet of Christ.